About Me

I am a 47 year old woman who has lived with bipolar disorder all my life. I first recognized I had a problem when I was in the 8th grade. I went through a turbulant adolesence, which carried on into my adult life. I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was about 30 years old. So needless to say, I struggled with not only my family members relationships, but with every relationship. At that time, I was a mother of two beautiful daughters. Raising two daughters with full blown bipolar illness. It wasn't easy at all. I went for inpatient hospitization when I was 32 years old when I found myself wandering the streets, barefoot and in tears. After my inpatient treatment I went on to outpatient treatment. I have to say it was the best thing I ever did in my life. After treatment my life began....

Thursday, December 31, 2009

the question "Are you taking your med's?"

Well it's another day and it's snowing out again. I wouldn't really mind but someone broke my shovel and I'm out a shovel now. Not to mention, I have to drive to stamford to celebrate the new year with Monique, my sister.

My younger daughter asked me if I was taking my medication? That's a frequent question when a family member or someone close to you, feels your not acting properly. Funny this time I answered her with another question."What do you notice is different about me","Why do you think I'm not taking my medication?" She didn't have much to say. Oh by the way Yes I'm taking my medication like religion.

Sometimes people think your not acting the way your suppose to be under med's. It's called being human. A person with bipolar is entitled to make mistakes or act differently at times. So don't down your self when the question comes up.."are you taking your med's?" people just like to make other's feel like shit, probably because their feeling like shit themselves.

Well everyone out their have a Happy New Year.....

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My high school sweetheart

To begin with my sweetheart was the love of my life back then. He looked liked a model you would see in GQ. We were together for 2 years until I up and moved to California. We seemed like the perfect couple. He took enjoyment with beating my ass. He would beat me up and then expect to have sex immediately afterward. I guess it was his way of absolving himself. We would go away skiing with friends, out to dinner with friends, did all kinds of things and yet the beatings went on. Oh how I thought I was so in love. He would buy me everything and be so romantic but I paid for it all. I truly believe this contributes to my PTSD.

I just a quick note: through the entire holiday season, I weathered it great this year. Very stable on medication. One mental note, I still change subjects at the drop of a hat. It's definitely part of the illness.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Another day in my life

Aside from the fact that I still have trouble sleeping because my mind runs over so many things that have happened to me. I have a good life. I am always wondering when the bottom is going to fall out. I guess that's a part of the post traumatic stress that I live with. I used to wonder why I was always freaked out about having to do things or how to do things but now I know it's PTSD. Today I feel like my bipolar is catching up with me. I think it's because I've been sick for 3 days. It's bound to happen. I had a hard time with going into a store today with my daughter to return an item. How stupid but it happened.

I live with my daughter Stephany who is totally bipolar and won't admit it. It's so hard to deal with her and try to keep myself sane. I love her dearly but she can be quite abusive toward me. I try to let it roll off but until she moves out I have no choice. This is the daughter that just found out she's pregnant. Well tonight is a good night though, I have my baby girl Victoria sleeping in her bed and spending the night with me. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Friday, December 18, 2009

A little about me and my crazy life

Well enough is being said about all the side effects and all the technical jargon about bipolar. Now I can start to talk about living my life with bipolar. I think back about my days of my youth and it seems as though I'm looking at another person. All the ups and downs of my life with bipolar. I still have ups and downs but not like before. There minimal now. I have to say taking my medication has changed my life.

The most important person I have now in my life is my granddaughter Victoria. She's the light of my life. I just can't get enough of her. I just had to say that. Being a grandmother has changed my life in the best way possible. Being able to have a close relationship with her means the world to me. When growing up I wasn't allowed to have relationships with a number of people because of my bipolar illness. I wasn't "stable" enough.

Many things go on in my everyday life which I'll get into more in detail but for today that's it. Oh by the way I just found out I'm going to be a gramma again, but that's a whole story in itself.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Taking responsibility for you bipolar illness

You must take responsibility of your disorder, not meaning that it is your fault, because it is not, but in the sense that your recovery is ultimately your responsiblity. There is no doctor, medicine or treatment that can cure your bipolar disorder or mental illness. These can only help to treat your illness. Being complient with your treatment is the best way to manage your mood disorder. That lifelong commitment comes into play again. It is totally well worth the commitment. I have had bipolar all my life, I'm now 47. I made this commitment to myself approximately 15 years ago. I was 32 years old. My life has totally changed, my relationships have changed, everything has changed in my life. It's like i look at a different person when I reflect about my life before treatment. My life is good now. I have fulfilled relationships with family members and friends. I love my life now, and you can love yours too.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Tips on treatment

For the manic phase of bipolar disorder, typically used are antipsychotic medications, lithium, and mood stabilizers. For depression, antidepressants are suggested, with or without the manic phase treatment.
There's not alot of evidence suggesting that any medication is successful in the maintenance phase. However, in studies that followed patients for a number of years, lithium and some antipsychotics were found to be very successful.
Antipsychotic drugs can help a person who has lost touch with reality.
Anti-anxiety drugs, such as benzodiazepines, may also help. The patient may need to stay in a hospital until their mood has stabilized and symptoms are controllable.
Getting enough sleep is important keep a stable mood in alot of patients.
Psychotherapy is helpful during the depressive phase. Joining a support group may be particularly helpful for bipolar disorder patients and their loved ones.

Risks for not seeking treatment:

Untreated or undertreated bipolar bring all types of devastating consequences. Because bipolar distort self-concept, attitute, thinking, behaviors, relationships, perception, judgment and reactions to every situation you encounter, they change the very essence of what makes you "you."

Not only educating yourself about your need for treatment it's important to educated other's about your treatment plan. I know this from experience. I lost a long-term job from hiding the fact that I am bipolar. If I had made it clear to the union of my illness I would never had the right to be fired. So covering all of your bases is a proven fact. Being clear to the people around you and not being ashamed of your illness is best.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Therapy and bipolar disorder

Once your diagnosed with bipolar illness, it's best to line up yourself some therapeutic services. There are many approaches to therapy. The best type of therapy is a one on one counseling. This is very effective for most people. There is group counseling which people get alot out of it, but most start out with the one on one for bipolar illness. Counseling is one approach but it's important to also see a psychiatrist. Your psychiatrist will work along with you to monitor your medication regimen. Some people like to see their psychiatrist for medication as well as counseling, it's an individual preference. Most Psychiatrists only deal with the medication aspect of treatment.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens

Not only do adults have bipolar disorder but kids and teens also have the disease.
Their are alot of children and teens who experience great depressions or a series of manic episodes. They experience the highs and lows of bipolar disorder.

When experiencing mania, alot of teenagers get the feeling that they have super powers. They have a soring high self esteem, extreme amounts of energy and don't sleep for days and don't even get tired. You will notice, an increased amount of talking, talking to much and to fast, changes in topic radically and God forbid being interrupted.

Children and teens will experience risky behavior and will abuse substances, such as drugs and alcohol. A typical symptom is sexual promiscuity.

A child will experience extreme bouts of depression, being sad and crying alot, not to mention suicide attempts and death. Kids won't be interested in activities they are usually interested in. Complaints of alot of illnesses, many physical symptoms, such as low energy, tiredness, concentration problems, eating problems, boredom, HDD, ADHD or even schizophrenia.

Friday, December 4, 2009

What's the cause of Bipolar

Bipolar disorders are caused by differences in how a person's brain and nervous system regulate basic behaviors.

The human nervous system is an amazing organic machine, creating and reaction to a complex stew of chemical, electrical, and magnetic impulses. It's constantly humming away, taking in information from all of our senses and reacting to it in ways that control every bodily activity, from basic breathing and circulation on up.

A single misstep in one of these process can set a chain of events in motion that leads to a neurological event, such as a memory lapse, a seizure, or a manic episode. If such missteps occur constantly, the person has a neurological disorder.

Brain scans can show where abnormal activity is ocurring, when a person is bipolar, or whether the brain is structured differently than usual.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Some talk on Bipolar Disorder

Men and woman both get bipolar disorder. The illness is most common in people between the ages thirteen to thirty one. The cause for this is a mystery. Bipolar disease is definitely passed down from our family.

There are two different kinds of Bipolar, I and II. Bipolar I is more severe than bipolar II. This illness starts in the brain, when your bipolar the transmission in the brain, skips working in a pattern. It's weird but it's a good description of what happens. Bipolar is the same thing as manic depression. The manic meaning mania, it's makes you very fast, especially your speech and thoughts. I say it's going 120. The depression is a huge sadness overcoming you. It gets hard to do anything, especially get out of bed. These mania's and depression's alternate. The goal is to make them come to a medium. When your bipolar these mania's and depressive states are very severe.

There's another illness that is misdiagnosed alot, it's called cyclothymia. It's very close to bipolar II.

SEROQUEL and bipolar illness

As any medication SEROQUEL has it's share of side effects. Before we go ahead and take SEROQUEL there are some side effects to consider. In clinical studies SEROQUEL worked very well for bipolar illness. SEROQUEL has been linked to diabetes and high blood sugar.

A person who is overweight or has diabetes is suggested to be treated by their doctor and have their blood levels checked. It is very important to have your blood sugars monitored through the time you use SEROQUEL. If the doctor finds a problem with your blood sugar levels he may consider discontinuing the medication.

A few side effects you may experience is as follows: fatigue, throwing up, weak, gaining weight, drowsy, dizzy, parched, constipation, upset stomach, sore throat, vomiting.

I have to say I know alot of people who take SEROQUEL at bedtime and find it to work very well.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

TRILEPTAL for bipolar disorder

TRILEPTAL is a medication which is used for bipolar disorder but is mainly used for the treatment of seizures, most common for the treatment of epilepsy. TRILEPTAL is used for the treatment of bipolar disorder and is very effective. It is in the same family as tegretol. TRILEPTAL works for bipolar disorder and for alot of people but not everyone.

I myself take TRILEPTAL and find it to be a wonderful medication. It stabilizes my bipolar disorder to the fullest. I had been on lithium for a long period of time and transferred over to TRILEPTAL, best move I ever made.

The main goal is to manage your bipolar disorder. Once you've got your mood swings under control, your bipolar disorder will be under wraps. Things will only get better. TRILEPTAL is not the only medication to help to control your bipolar disorder. Lithium is a great medication. I have found the least amount of side effects with TRILEPTAL.