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About Me

I am a 47 year old woman who has lived with bipolar disorder all my life. I first recognized I had a problem when I was in the 8th grade. I went through a turbulant adolesence, which carried on into my adult life. I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was about 30 years old. So needless to say, I struggled with not only my family members relationships, but with every relationship. At that time, I was a mother of two beautiful daughters. Raising two daughters with full blown bipolar illness. It wasn't easy at all. I went for inpatient hospitization when I was 32 years old when I found myself wandering the streets, barefoot and in tears. After my inpatient treatment I went on to outpatient treatment. I have to say it was the best thing I ever did in my life. After treatment my life began....

Monday, December 21, 2009

Another day in my life

Aside from the fact that I still have trouble sleeping because my mind runs over so many things that have happened to me. I have a good life. I am always wondering when the bottom is going to fall out. I guess that's a part of the post traumatic stress that I live with. I used to wonder why I was always freaked out about having to do things or how to do things but now I know it's PTSD. Today I feel like my bipolar is catching up with me. I think it's because I've been sick for 3 days. It's bound to happen. I had a hard time with going into a store today with my daughter to return an item. How stupid but it happened.

I live with my daughter Stephany who is totally bipolar and won't admit it. It's so hard to deal with her and try to keep myself sane. I love her dearly but she can be quite abusive toward me. I try to let it roll off but until she moves out I have no choice. This is the daughter that just found out she's pregnant. Well tonight is a good night though, I have my baby girl Victoria sleeping in her bed and spending the night with me. I couldn't ask for anything more.

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